In the not-too distant future,
Somewhere on the Internet,
Lurked a crazy rambling author
no one could just quite forget,
Lotsa weirdos enjoyed all the jokes he made
Nutty fans and Anons pestered him in spades,
They came up with a plan to put 'im back in his place,
So they warped him through his e-mail and they shot him into space
We’ll send him crappy fanfics,
The worst we can find, (la la la!)
He’ll have to sit and read them all
And we’ll monitor his mind
Now keep in mind he can’t control
When the fics begin or end
He’ll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his character friends:
Random Roll Call!
Pictograph Guy! “Presented for your consideration.”
Zelda! “Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, distill me. Some bourbon.”
Link! “Don’t think, FEEL!”
If you don’t get how he stays alive
Or other technicalities,
Just bear in mind that I don’t care
So don’t bother asking, please
On Random Silly Theater 3000!
>>the kingdom was at peace at last..the king of evil was trapped, and Hyrule was once again on the rule of the royal family and sages.
Link had refused to retun and reclaim his lost years, and instead stayed with the princess, helping to rebuild the kingdom.
though they loved each other, they kept their distance from each other while the castle was rebuild.
This was hard on both of them, but they each were afird to be with the other, for each of them had been cursed by the king of evil before his death, though never knew about the others curse.
Finally the castle was rebuilt..and the last of Gannondorfs monsters were wiped out.
thw Zora’s were fully defrosted and people once again flocked to castle town..seeking to rebuild they’re old lifes.
A grand feast was held, and the Queen of Hyrule thanks all of her friends for their help. and while she bide them to party for as long as they desired, she excused herself being rather tired.
moments after she had excused herself, Link did as well, and many of the guest were winking to each other knowingly...
Zelda was near tears as she walked into her room. the pain she endured..the ahce...A small sob escaped her mouth as she began to remove her dress, not noticing as the door opened and in walked link.
“Damn you..Damn you gannondorf...I finally have the man I love..but can never be with him..” She cursed...as in just a light purple slip, she looked down at the rigging on his leg..that kept a fat 10 inch cock straped to her leg where it wouldn’t tent out her dress.
She had wanted to stay at the party, but this..foul appenage of her’s ached with need..and nee that she couldn’t sastifay and she’d been forced to excuse herself.
How she wanted to be with link..to lay in his arms...but how could he possibley love her with..with this might serpant between her legs..with the great massive balls that swelled with seed!
“Zelda?” Link gasped, in a small voice.
the princess turned, and turned red then pale...no...no no no! Link COULDN’T See her like this!
“G-Get out!” She ordered, tears coming to her eyes.
“Zelda whats going on?..is that...from being shiek?” Link asked, poitning to her ugly manhood..which even now twitched in the heros presence.
For that was the was worse part of it, when she tried to relivie herself of the seed briming in her balls, it was link she thought off, his mouth on her...
“Link Please...leave...” She whimpered...sure that he was disgusted with her. who wouldn’t be? she was a monster now, the very thing that he huntd and-
Her thoughts were interupted as link came forward and hugged her from the side.
“Zelda it’s alright.” Link whipsered, and brushed her hair. “Tell me what happened..”
“It..it was while i was in the crystal..waiting for you..” She whimpered. “Gannondorf started a spell that he claimed would make me a interesting toy following your death..or failing at that...leave me unloved for all of time...he...he gave me..”
“A males privates.” Link said.
“And worse...I..I can not...relive myself..I need the help..of anther...” she said in a small voice.
“are you certain?” Link asked.
“Very...I..For the past 3 months i’ve grown more and more frustated..unable to...In my most desperate moments I called Naboo in..asking her if the gerudo knew of a way to help..and they didn’t...and..I found out something else..” Zelda whimpered.
“That you can only have a reless with a man?” Link asked.
Zelda nodded, brightly blushing now.
“The gerudo are a race thats almost all females..someone like you must of been too tempting for her to pass up.” LInk said with a chuckle, and Zelda hit him.
“It’s not funny!” She whimpered.
“Oh, it is in a way..you see..you’re not the only one, who’s been cursed.” Link said..and then took zelda’s hand, and put it onto his crotch.
She blushed, but felt the normal budgle of links..then squzzed again...and frowned.
“it’s a sasage i borrowed from the kitchen...I still have my privates..but.well...Gannondorf shurnk them...” Link said, now blushing.
“Can..Can I see?” Zelda asked.
Link hesatatied, but hey, he was looking down at her monster cock..so...fair was fair..and gentling he tugged down his tights..and removed his tunic..letting the sasage fall away and Zelda, despite herself smirked.
“by din..it’s so s-”
“Easy there tree trunk.” Link snapped.
So there they stood..a hero with a cock that was maybe 1/2 inch hard..and a princess with a ten inch hardon...links bals shurnken so that it looked as though he only had one...and zelda’s balls massive and almost the size of tennies balls!
“I..Havn’t been able to...Um...covince any madien to lay with me..and truthfully.have found..my behind...more...sestive then..my front...” Link finished...Looking anywhere but at zelda.
“So..What your saying...is..I can only know plesure in making a man take my mighty sword..” Zelda said.
“And I can only know plesure in taking a mighty sword in my shelth.” Link finished.
the both smiled at each other..and more then a little embrased..they started to kiss..link gently stoking Zelda’s cock while her finger teased themselfs on his hole, making them each moan though link would break off the kiss and rest his head on zelda’s shoudler.
“I don’t think you’ll be able to take my sword tonight..there’s much work to be done with this shelth.” Zelda teased, gently moving her finger tips in and out of links eager butthole.
“ah..ah~..then..then let me bless the blade with a kiss.” Link whimpered.
the hero of time sank to his knees, and felt the thorbing cock of his love rub on his cheek..and it made him blush and thorb himself.
this wasn’t the brtal fucking that gannondorf had likly pictured..this was two people who loved each other, understanding each others needs.
this was link, kissing his wife to be (or would that be husband now?) cock head, licking the piss slit and playing with her balls.
“L-Link..Hurray...” Zelda whimpered, using all of her self control to not just slam her mighty shaft down his thorat...unlike when she had let naboo suck her cock. and had felt nothing, Zelda already felt ready to let her seed escape.
Link smiled, and trailed his touge down the underside of her cock..din...he didn’t even know where these skills with cock was coming from...then moed back down, kissing and sucking on zelda’s balls..stoking her shaft.
“L-Link..I’m gonna..” Zelda squeaked, and Link knew she was about to blow...and din help him again..he moved his face in front of her cock, and opened his mouth..and stoked her dick with both his hands.
the sight of link, so eager for her girl milk was too much and zelda had her first orgasm with her cock..and cried out in plreasure as thick gooey ropes of girl milk shot into link’s mouth, covered his face and almost knocked him over!
as he swallowed Zelda’s seedlink let out a cry of his own, and a teaspoon’s worth of cum shot out of his mirco dick, making him coo as he swallowed Zelda’s spunk.
Both pasued, to catchtheir breath.. (And zelda handed link a towel.) but then Zelda broke the silance.
“that was round one...shall we keep going?”
“who am I to argue with a queen?” Link chuckled and gave her cock anther kiss.
DED: ...well THAT was a thing that just happened.